By Peter de Kuster
Introduction: When the Past Calls, What Story Will You Tell?
A Real Pain (2024) is a deeply moving dramedy about two cousins—one neurotic and responsible, the other free-spirited and troubled—who travel together through Poland to honor their late grandmother, a Holocaust survivor. What begins as a heritage tour quickly becomes a journey through grief, family secrets, and the pain of being truly seen. For creative leaders, this film is a vivid reminder: you are the storyteller of your own life. Will you keep replaying old wounds, or will you create your own legend—one of connection, courage, and meaning?
Plot Summary: From Heritage Tour to Heartfelt Reckoning
David and Benji Kaplan, cousins with clashing personalities, reunite for a Jewish heritage tour in Poland after their grandmother’s death. David, the responsible New Yorker, and Benji, the unpredictable soul from Binghamton, retrace their family’s history, visiting sites like Lublin, the Grodzka Gate, and the Majdanek concentration camp13. Old tensions resurface—David’s frustration with Benji’s irreverence, Benji’s resentment of David’s emotional distance. Benji’s raw honesty connects him with the tour group, while David’s bottled-up feelings finally erupt in a tearful confession about their complicated bond and Benji’s recent suicide attempt
As they visit their grandmother’s former home, Benji recalls a moment of tough love that gave him clarity and humility. The cousins’ journey ends with a bittersweet exchange: David invites Benji to reconnect, but Benji declines, prompting a slap and immediate reconciliation. David returns to his family, leaving a visitation stone on his doorstep, while Benji, possibly homeless, sits alone at the airport, tears in his eyes—both changed by the journey, but still searching for peace.
The Hero’s Journey in A Real Pain
Reflections for Creative Leaders at Every Stage
| Stage | Film Moment | Reflection for Creative Leaders |
|---|---|---|
| 1. Ordinary World | David’s structured life, Benji’s chaotic existence | Where are you stuck in old routines or roles that no longer serve you? |
| 2. Call to Adventure | The invitation to honor their grandmother in Poland | What event or loss is calling you to revisit your story? |
| 3. Refusal of the Call | Old tensions and avoidance of real conversation | When do you resist confronting pain or vulnerability? |
| 4. Meeting the Mentor | Insights from the tour group, Benji’s unfiltered honesty | Who or what challenges you to be more authentic? |
| 5. Crossing the Threshold | Arriving in Poland, facing family history head-on | What step can you take to confront your past with courage? |
| 6. Tests, Allies, Enemies | Clashes, group dynamics, and personal revelations | Who supports or challenges you as you grow? |
| 7. Approach to the Inmost Cave | Visiting Majdanek, emotional breakdowns, confessions | What truth are you most afraid to face about yourself or your relationships? |
| 8. Ordeal | Benji’s struggles, David’s vulnerability, facing mortality | When have you been forced to confront your deepest pain? |
| 9. Reward | Moments of connection, honesty, and mutual care | What gifts have come from facing your pain and being real? |
| 10. The Road Back | Leaving Poland, invitations to reconnect | How do you bring new understanding back to your daily life? |
| 11. Resurrection | The slap, reconciliation, and professions of love | How have your relationships transformed through struggle? |
| 12. Return with the Elixir | David returns home changed; Benji faces his loneliness | What wisdom or healing will you carry forward—and share with others? |
Conclusion: The Power of Telling Your True Story
A Real Pain is a journey through grief, memory, and the messy, beautiful work of healing. David and Benji show us that true connection comes not from perfection, but from honesty, vulnerability, and the willingness to face pain together. As creative leaders, the question is not whether you will experience hardship, but what story you will write with it. Will you let old wounds define you, or will you use them to build a legend of empathy and courage?
Questions to Take Away After Watching A Real Pain
- Where in your life are you avoiding difficult conversations or truths?
- Who in your story needs your honesty, vulnerability, or forgiveness?
- What old wounds are you ready to face and transform?
- How can you use your pain to create meaning and connection for yourself and others?
- What legacy of healing and courage do you want to leave behind?
Story Coaching Offer: Create Your Hero’s Journey with Peter de Kuster
Are you ready to transform your pain into purpose and become the author of your own legend? My story coaching is for:
- Creative professionals, entrepreneurs, and leaders seeking clarity, healing, and authentic impact
- Anyone at a crossroads, ready to turn hardship into growth and meaning
- Individuals inspired by stories and determined to become the author of their own life
Benefits of Story Coaching
- Discover your personal myth and core archetypes
- Reframe limiting beliefs and turn adversity into opportunity
- Gain clarity on your mission, legacy, and next creative chapter
- Develop practical strategies for authentic, impactful leadership
- Strengthen your storytelling skills to inspire and unite your team
Special Price for Readers
- Full Story Coaching Session (2 hours): €195 (excl. VAT)
- Express Session (1 hour): €120 (excl. VAT)
Contact: peter@wearesomeone.nl
You are the hero, the storyteller, and the legend in the making. The next chapter is yours to write.
The Power of Your Story 